From a broken heart come far more beauty

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Shattered Eyes Bleed the Deepest Red

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Marietta’s apology

I’ve been reworking parts of how Marietta apologizes to Lucifer. I want the way she speaks and how he reacts to better match their characters.

“Hey. How’s your head.” Her smile lightened his mood slightly.

“It’s alright.” His attitude towards her was filled with annoyance and disinterest, the reaction she had expected.

“I’m sorry.” She was standing beside him, head bent down. Tears were welling up at the corner of her eyes. “I should have known they were up to something. Before you got hit, they asked me if I would be upset if you ever got hurt. Or if I had gotten over you. The questions seemed stupid, so I ignored them. I realized too late what they were getting at.

“I’m sorry, I should have paid more attention.”

Lucifer looked at her. “That’s not your fault. There’s no way you could have known. They’re just some assholes. That’s not your fault.”

She looked up at him, sniffling. “Really? You aren’t mad at me?”

“No I am not.”

“Oh thank you. I’m so glad we’re okay.”

“We’re fine as long as that boyfriend of yours stays away from me.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh spare me the lies. I’ve seen you together.

Her face went cross at his retort. “Don’t make accusations. We’re friends and I enjoy his company. Like I said before, I already have my eyes set on someone.”

“Fine, whatever you say. He’s not your boyfriend. Just keep your friend away from me.”

“Consider it done.” She leaned forward on the work bench, angled just enough for him to have a brief view of her cleavage. He must have been staring because Marietta stood straight up and took a slight step back.
Holding her gaze, he changed the mood of the conversation back to serious. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.” She took back her smile that had just started a moment before.

“Why me? Why did you get so damn attached to me? Even when I pushed you back, you resisted.” He paused, expecting her to start making some cutesy comment. Instead, she stared at her fingers, twirling them around each other. HE continue, “Don’t you know you could do so much better. I’m the guy who holds everyone back.”

This time she took his pause as her cue and spoke up, not with humor or flirtation, but sincerity. “You always seem so lonely. I’d be more than willing to be your friend friend again. In fact, I would love to be. If you really are willing to accept my apology” The tone was genuine, “I really am sorry Lucifer.” She meant what she was saying. That was clear, even to Lucifer. But he still didn’t trust her. Not after the last time.

She leaned back on her heels and gave him a once over. “You know, there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.” She paused letting him squirm.

He quickly turned to hide his embarrassment. “What is it? Did to come over to bug me or did you need something?” All he heard was a soft giggle. She was smiling as if he wasn’t being rude, but making a joke instead. “Look I don’t have time for your jokes. I’m busy working.”

Marietta stepped forward bringing herself just short of touching him. He had a few inches and to make up for it she stood on her tiptoes and got close to his face. A few inches separated the two.

She held her gaze, keeping his eyes on her. “I really think you’re strange. I do want to get to know you. For some reason I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re different from other boys I know.”

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Tool wakes Marietta up

Adding more conversation to help the flow

I started with this:

Marietta’s jaw dropped and refused to close What he said was true. She had turned her back on Lucifer.Silent tears streamed down her face as she stared at Tool.

And came to this:

Marietta’s jaw dropped and refused to close. What he said was true. She had turned her back on Lucifer. “I didn’t meant to. It was just nice having someone who didn’t treat me like an unwanted nuisance.”. Silent tears streamed down her face as she stared at Tool.
“A nuisance? Is that what you think he was doing? You’re kidding me right? He cared more about you than he did about anyone.”
“But he-”
Tool cut her off, “No, there’s no buts about it, Yes he had his walls. Yes he didn’t show his feeling well, but he let you in despite everything that has happened to him to prove otherwise.”
“What do you mean what’s happened? Nothing before did.”
“Are you that dumb? Do you not get what having a mother like his does to someone? It makes it hard to trust people. And you’ve just backed that up.”
“I didn’t mean to do that though.”
“It doesn’t matter if you want to help him, then leave him alone.” Tool stared her down, never letting his anger lighten.
“Fine” In silence she stood up and walked out of the office. Tool was there and she doubted Lucifer would want her to be there when he came out.

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new art for my bros

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New Detail

I’m adding new detail and hope that you enjoy reading what I am adding. I hope to show Lucifer losing Marietta to Chad

Enjoy 🙂

Lucifer stood outside, waiting for the sound of Marietta’s feet pounding behind him. But they never came. It had been a week since she ate with him. After the first day Chad stole her away, she hadn’t returned to their bench.

He sat with Tool, and the girls in silence, picking at the pasta he had bought the day before at the store with Marietta on the way to work. She was going to be busy and wouldn’t have time to make him a lunch.

“Dude, is that from the gas station?” Tool stared at his untouched dish.

“Yeah, it is.” Lucifer tried hiding his disappointment, but the expression on his face was hard to remove.

“So not only has she stopped eating with us, but she doesn’t even care about how you eat anymore? Man, that’s rough.”

“You know Tool, I don’t really need a reminder okay?” Lucifer stood up and left, abandoning the tasteless meal behind.

None of the group tried stopping him. They had gotten used to his further distance from the group since Marietta started seeing Chad.

Lucifer headed to the library in hopes of , but unlikely to, finishing homework for the next day. The homework for the rest of his classes were finished the night before. He hated the homework, but it had proven to be a decent distraction.

Lucifer made his way to a table in the far corner, with a large window facing the back soccer field. He looked out a saw Marietta sitting with Chad a few of the other football guys. They appeared to be teasing her, because as Chad grabbed at her hand, she pulled her arms to her chest and backed away. But only for a moment. Just as she did, she appeared to trip over nothing, and fell on her butt.

Lucifer jumped up from his chair whacking his knee on the way up. The table made a loud thud as it braced against his knee. He realized there was nothing he could do. Getting to her would take at least five minutes to get to the nearest set of doors and by then he was sure that Chad would have played her rescuer by then.

Grimly Lucifer put his hand on the chair, holding it steady so that it did not move before he could securely sit down. He had already made a bit of a scene and wanted to avoid another. A few people were staring at him still as he readjusted his papers on the table.

Peering back over his shoulder he could see her, back on her feet laughing with Chad and the others. Her same smile still held strong on her face, like the one she had shown him the first day she stood in front of him with her hand extended to him with eagerness.

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Marietta the A student

So I am trying to focus on weaving the detail into the progressing story, rather than ranting for a paragraph at a time, force feeding my reader- or reader ;). anyways, this is what it was:

Everything came incredibly easy for her. Back home Delilah had her study three hours every morning, covering everything from chemistry to geometry. Her entire childhood was in preparation for her future. Latin was her secondary language. Her ease in her classes was clearly thanks to Delilah’s strict rules when it came to studying.

And this is what it is now:

“Lucifer!” When he heard his name he spun and saw Marietta grinning, standing behind him.

“Oh, hey.”

“You should eat here today. I don’t feel like eating alone. So you should eat with me. Please?”

Lucifer looked around. A few people were watching them. Feeling stuck, he agreed.

Grabbing his hand, Marietta led him to the table near the back corner where few people would likely be.

This way we can be alone, and no one can interrupt us. Now he has no choice. He has to open up to me.

“So how are your classes going? You’ve been here for what, two weeks now?”

“Tomorrow will be two weeks. And so far, everything has been incredibly easy. When I was still back home Delilah, my sister, had me study three hours every morning. She had me reading everything. I read so many books about chemistry and geometry I thought my head was going to explode.”

Turning to her, he smiled at the nostalgia look on her face, the way we mouth curved slightly at the corners, barely noticeable from a distance.

“My entire childhood was in preparation for the future. As soon as I turned eight I was choosing a her secondary language.

“It was Latin, right?” He wanted her to keep talking, to keep smiling like she did.

“Yes it is. You remembered from walking me to class my first day didn’t you?” She stepped closer, letting their arms brush gently against each others arms as she kept a firm grip on his hand.

He had forgotten she had hold of it still, and squeezed back before letting go. She didn’t fight the loosening grip, just let the fingers slide form hers and kept on talking.

“ If it weren’t for Delilah’s strict rules about my studies, I would be a failing student.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with failing students. We simply have talents that classes fail to focus on.” He sat down at the bench they had made their usual table.

“Oh, is that what you’re telling yourself these days? What a nice excuse you have given yourself.” She pushed him over to make room for herself, crossing her legs once seated beside him, like a proper lady should when wearing a skirt.

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